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STRESS-BUSTING BOOKS FOR PEOPLE WITH KIDS:

P.E.T. IN ACTION (Parent Effectiveness Training): by Dr. Thomas Gordon, Bantam Books

WHEN YOUR CHILD DRIVES YOU CRAZY, by Eda Leshan, St. Martin's Press

DISCIPLINE:101 ALTERNATIVES TO NAGGING, YELLING, AND SPANKING, by Dr. Alvin Price and Jay A. Perry

THE STRONG-WILLED CHILD, by Dr. James Dobsen

A CHILD CALLED "IT" by Dave Pelzer

Report Child Porn Actually, most porn sites include underage porn.  How you can report all of it.

Report Adult Porn  Why? Because there is no such thing as a willing porn subject.

Keep Your Child Safe

Kids In Danger (K.I.D.) This private, not-for-profit committee combats beauracratic abuse/neglect or endangerment of children internationally.

Adults In Danger (A.I.D.) This private, not-for-profit committee combats adult porn and bureaucratic abuse and endangerment of adults internationally.  Report Adult Porn

Does your neighborhood have a child predator?   (Use back button to return)

More Stress Busters

Great Beauty Tips For Busy Moms On A Budget: Or, What Models Know That You Don't--You Won't Find These Tips In Magazines

Love Between Parents: The best thing parents can do for their kids is love each other.

Defense of Harry Potter: Extremists are claiming that Harry Potter books are causing moral havoc among children.  Kidsread authors believe the opposite.Out Of The Mouths Of Babies Little kids have a unique and hilarious way of looking at religion, life, and love.

Violence In The Schools: How to spot potentially violent students in your school and what to do about it.

Ten Commandments For Parents (& Teachers): A child asks for what he needs. 

If A Child Lives With Criticism...: How our actions and attitudes effect a child.

Instructions from the Dalai Lama

Yesterday: A poem that reminds us what it was like to be a child.

 

"...You may strive to be like them, but seek not to make them like you, For life goes not backward nor tarries with yesterday." from 'The Prophet' by Kahlil Gibran

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If a Child Lives with Criticism

If a child lives with criticism, He learns to condemn.

If a child lives with hostility, He learns to fight.

If a child lives with ridicule, He learns to be shy.

If a child lives with shame, He learns to feel guilty.

If a child lives with tolerance, He learns to be patient.

If a child lives with encouragement, He learns confidence.

If a child lives with praise, He learns to appreciate.

If a child lives with fairness, He learns justice.

If a child lives with security, He learns to have faith.

If a child lives with approval, He learns to like himself.

If a child lives with acceptance and friendship, He learns to find love in the world.

--Dicksons

If a child lives with control he learns to rebel.  If a child lives with guidance he learns to love and trust..  -Kidsread

A Child's Ten Commandments to Parents

by Dr. Kevin Leman

1. My hands are small; please don't expect perfection whenever I make a bed, draw a picture or throw a ball. My legs are short; please slow down so that I can keep up with you.

2. My eyes have not seen the world as yours have; please let me explore safely. Don't restrict me unnecessarily.

3. Housework will always be there. I'm only little for a short time, please take time to explain to me things about this wonderful world and do so willingly.

4. My feelings are tender; please be sensitive to my needs. Don't nag me all day long. (You wouldn't want to be nagged for your inquisitiveness). Treat me, as you would like to be treated.

5. I am a special gift from God, please treasure me as God intended you to do, holding me accountable for my actions, giving me guidelines to live by and disciplining me in a loving manner.

6. I need your encouragement... to grow. Please go easy on the criticism; remember, you can criticize the things I do without criticizing me.

7. Please give me the freedom to make decisions concerning myself. Permit me to fail, so that I can learn from my mistakes. Then someday I'll be prepared to make the kinds of decision that life requires of me.

8. Please don't do things over for me. Somehow that makes me feel that my efforts didn't quite measure up to your expectations. I know it's hard, but please don't try to compare me to my brother or sister.

9. Please don't be afraid to leave for a weekend together. Kids need vacations from parents, just as parents need vacations from kids. Besides, it's a great way to show us kids that your marriage is special.

10. Please take me to Sunday School and church or synagogue regularly, setting a good example for me to follow. I enjoy learning more about God.

"The mark of civilization is the degree of rights we grant to those weaker than ourselves." --Kidsread

"Children are the living messages we send to a time we will not see."--John W. Whitehead

"The glory of springtime is the same to all, but there are many different points of view.  A child sees it best from the middle of a mud puddle." --Pearl Swiggum

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Suffer the children to come unto me, and forbid them not, for of such is the kingdom of heaven.  --Jesus (Mark 10:14 New Testament)

Parents: You husbands, don't ever leave your wives in the morning with an ugly expression or with impatience.  Take them in your arms; women, to be happy have to be loved and they have to be told that they are loved. --Harold B. Lee (more tips for Dads)

The deepest tenderness a woman can show her husband is to help him do his duty.--Jessie Evans Smith  (more tips for Moms)

Teachers: "I saw tomorrow look at me through little children's eyes, and thought how carefully we would teach, if only we were wise." (anonymous)

MONTY ROBERTS, "The Man Who Whispers to Horses:" One nun, Sister Agnes Patricia, was the most influential teacher I ever knew.  What I will always remember about her is her statement that there is no such thing as teaching--only learning.  She believed that no teacher could ever teach anyone anything.  Her task as a teacher was to create an environment in which the student can learn.  Knowledge, she told us....needs to be pulled into the brain by the student, not pushed into it by the teacher.  Knowledge is not to be forced on anyone.  The brain has to be receptive, malleable, and most important, hungry for that knowledge.  To use the word teach implies an injection of knowledge.  Like Sister  Agnes Patricia, I came to agree that there is no such thing as teaching, only learning. --

"The greatest aid to adult education is children." Charlie T. Jones and Bob Phillips, from 'Wit and Wisdom'

GREAT LINKS FOR PARENTS AND TEACHERS:

Safe Kids:  how to keep your kids and students safe in today's unsafe world, and how adults can curb youth depression, aggression, and anger at school.

www.studyweb.com: resources for Teachers 

www.edhelper.com: resources for Teachers

www.kidsource.com: everything you need to know to raise a child in the nineties.

www.myparentime.com: on-line magazine for parents, with emphasis on child safety.  

www.baby-place.com: a website just for babies and parents.

www.apnewz.com: conservative satire on liberal news

Have a question about dealing with kids or teens?  Email Adrienne@kidsread.net 

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MORE STRESS BUSTERS

And a woman who held her babe against her bosom said, "Speak to us of children."  And he said: Your children are not your children.  They are the sons and daughters of Life's Longing For Itself.  They come through you but not from you, And though they are with you, yet they belong not to you.  You may give them your love but not your thoughts, For they have their own thoughts, You may house their bodies but not their souls, For their souls dwell in the house of tomorrow, Which you cannot visit, even in your dreams.  You may strive to be like them, but seek not to make them like you, For life goes not backward nor tarries with yesterday." from 'The Prophet' by Kahlil Gibran

YESTERDAY'S CHILDREN  -by Adrienne Potter 

We're yesterdays children climbing in the trees,

Swinging through the air in yesterday's breeze.

Back then somebody washed our clothes,

Fixed our food and wiped our nose.

 

Somebody wiped away our tears,

Somebody hugged away our fears.

Somebody listened when we cried.

Somebody lived and somebody died.  

 

People come and people go

And where they are we'd like to know.

We're yesterday's kids but now we're grown

And we've forgotten what we've known--

 

How to stoop and sniff a flower

Where to watch the sunset hour,

What to learn from a little bug,

Or where to go to get a hug.  

 

No, we sit in monstrous towers

Wrestling with financial powers.

Learning how to cope with stress,

Thinking "No," and saying, "Yes."

  

We're yesterday's children searching through the past,

Present and the future for the things that last.

We're yesterday's children learning how to share,

We're yesterday's children learning how to care.  

"You are the musicmakers.. 

And you are the dreamers of dreams, 

Wandering by lone sea breakers.... 

And sitting by desolate streams. 

World losers, and world forsakers... 

On whom the pale moon beams, 

But you are the movers and the shakers... 

Of the world, forever, it seems." ~~Elgar~~

INSTRUCTIONS FOR LIFE IN THE NEW MILLENNIUM

 -from the Dalai Lama: 

1. Take into account that great love and great achievements involve great risk. 

2. When you lose, don't lose the lesson. 

3. Follow the three Rs: Respect for self, respect for others, responsibility for all your actions. 

4. Remember that not getting what you want is sometimes a wonderful stroke of luck. 

5. Learn the rules so you know how to break them properly. 

6. Don't let a little dispute injure a great friendship. 

7. When you realize you've made a mistake, take immediate steps to correct it. 

8. Spend some time alone every day. 

9. Open your arms to change, but don't let go of your values. 

10. Remember that silence is sometimes the best answer. 

11. Live a good, honorable life. Then when you get older and think back, you'll be able to enjoy it a second time. 

12. A loving atmosphere in your home is the foundation for your life. 

13. In disagreements with loved ones, deal only with the current situation. Don't bring up the past. 

14. Share your knowledge. It's a way to achieve immortality. 

15. Be gentle with the earth. 

16. Once a year, go someplace you've never been before. 

17. Remember that the best relationship is one in which your love for each other exceeds your need for each other. 

18. Judge your success by what you had to give up in order to get it. 

19. Approach love and cooking with reckless abandon. 

FOR DADS: 

Father answering the telephone: "No this is not the dreamboat.  This is the supply ship."

The greatest love a father can show his children is to love their mother.

"And ye fathers, provoke not your children to wrath, but bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord.  New Testament, King James Version, Ephesians 6:4 

There is nothing so gentle as true strength, and nothing so strong as true gentleness."

FOR MOMS: 

"My kingdom for an intelligent octopus!"  Hawkeye Pierce in "Mash," the series, while operating when all the doctors had the flu.

Enjoy your children while you have them, for each instant they leave you.  They will not go tomorrow; they are going now. --Howard Vincent O'Brien

After a forest fire in Yellowstone National Park, forest rangers began their trek up a mountain to assess the inferno's damage.  One ranger found a bird literally petrified in ashes, perched statuesquely on the ground at the base of a tree.  Somewhat sickened by the eerie sight, he knocked over the bird with a stick.  When he struck it, three tiny chicks scurried from under their dead mother's wings.  The loving mother, keenly aware of impending disaster, had carried her offspring to the base of the tree and had gathered them under their wings, instinctively knowing that the toxic smoke would rise.  She could have flown to safety but had refused to abandon her babies.  When the blaze had arrived and the heat had singed her small body, the mother had remained steadfast.  Because she had been willing to die, so those under the cover of her wings would live. --National Geographic

IF I HAD MY LIFE TO LIVE OVER - by Erma Bombeck
(Written after she found out she was dying from cancer.)

I would have gone to bed when I was sick instead of pretending the earth would go into a holding pattern if I weren't there for the day.
I would have burned the pink candle sculpted like a rose before it melted in storage.
I would have talked less and listened more.
I would have invited friends over to dinner even if the carpet was stained, or the sofa faded.
I would have eaten the popcorn in the 'good' living room and worried much less about the dirt when someone wanted to light a fire in the fireplace.
I would have taken the time to listen to my grandfather ramble about his youth.
I would have shared more of the responsibility carried by my husband.
I would never have insisted the car windows be rolled up on a summer day because my hair had just been teased and sprayed.
I would have sat on the lawn with my children and not worried about grass stains.
I would have cried and laughed less while watching television and more while watching life.
I would never have bought anything just because it was practical, wouldn't show soil, or was guaranteed to last a lifetime.
Instead of wishing away nine months of pregnancy, I'd have cherished every moment and realized that the wonderment growing inside me was the only chance in life to assist God in a miracle.
When my kids kissed me impetuously, I would never have said, "Later.Now go get washed up for dinner."
There would have been more "I love you's." More "I'm sorry's."
But mostly, given another shot at life, I would seize every  minute...look at it and really see it ... live it ... and never give it back.
Stop sweating the small stuff.
Don't worry about who doesn't like you, who has more, or who's doing what. Instead, let's cherish the relationships we have with those who  do love us.
Let's think about what God HAS blessed us with. And what we are doing  each day to promote ourselves mentally, physically, emotionally, as well as spiritually.Life is too short to let it pass you by.We only have one shot at this and then it's gone.
 

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More Tidbits of  Wisdom:

Trust in Allah, but tie your camel. -Arabic saying

All sunshine makes a desert. -Arabic proverb

 What is to give light must endure burning. -Viktor Frankl

To give pleasure to a single heart by a single act is better than a thousand heads bowing in prayer. -Mahatma Gandhi (1869-1948) 

Some things have to be believed to be seen.

ABOUT PRIORITIES: A philosophy professor stood before his class and had some items in  of him. When class began, wordlessly he picked up a large empty mayonnaise  jar and proceeded to fill it with rocks right to the top, rocks about 2"  diameter.   He then asked the students if the jar was full?  They agreed that it was.
 So the professor then picked up a box of pebbles and poured them in to the  jar.  He shook the jar lightly. The pebbles, of course, rolled into the  open areas between the rocks. The students laughed.   He asked his students again if the jar was full? They agreed that yes, it  was.   The professor then picked up a box of sand and poured it into the jar.  Of  course, the sand filled up everything else.   "Now,"  said the professor, "I want you to recognize that this is your life.  The rocks are the important things - your family, your partner,  your health,  your children - anything that is so important to you that if  it were lost, you would be nearly destroyed.  The pebbles are the other things in life that matter, but on a  smaller scale.  The pebbles represent things like your job, your house, your  car.  The sand is everything else. The small stuff.  If you put the sand or the pebbles into the jar first, there is no room for the rocks. The same goes for your life. If you spend all your energy and time on the small stuff, material things, you will never have room for  the things that are truly most important.   Pay attention to the things that are critical in your life. Play with your  children. Take time to get medical checkups. Take your partner out dancing.  There will always be time to go to work, clean the house, give a  dinner party and fix the disposal."
Take care of the rocks first - the things that really matter.
 Set your priorities.  The rest is just pebbles and sand.

BOOKS THAT HELP YOU RAISE KIDS WITHOUT ABUSING THEM (If child lives with control he learns to rebel.  If a child lives with guidance he learns to love and trust. --Kidsread)

"And ye fathers, provoke not your children to wrath..." New Testament, Ephesians 6:4 

P.E.T. IN ACTION (Parent Effectiveness Training): by Dr. Thomas Gordon, Bantam Books: This valuable book teaches parents a technique called "active listening," that helps parents communicate with kids even when they don't want to talk.  It is a gentle, loving way to help you find out what is driving your child, or if he/she has a problem, or just what is going on in his life.  Active listening also helps communication in a marriage relationship, between coworkers, or at the negotiating table.

WHEN YOUR CHILD DRIVES YOU CRAZY, by Eda Leshan, St. Martin's Press: Learn to  identify the things kids do that irritate you and what to do about it without becoming abusive.  It teaches parents to be more tolerant of children, tells how to set limits without making children angry, and helps you learn what triggers  your own anger towards children.

DISCIPLINE:101 ALTERNATIVES TO NAGGING, YELLING, AND SPANKING, by Dr. Alvin Price and Jay A. Perry: This book is exactly what the title says--101 ways to raise your children without being abusive.  It is full of useful and creative ideas on how to teach, lead, and guide children without excess force.  It tells how to get them to do what you need them to do without turning your home into a battle zone.

THE STRONG-WILLED CHILD, by Dr. James Dobsen: Does your child fight you at every turn?  Does he/she break a lot of rules and resist your attempts at discipline?  Some kids are more difficult to raise because they are extremely self-willed or stubborn.  Dr. Dobsen details numerous ways to reach such children and to nurture, guide, and teach them without going overboard on discipline and driving them away.

A CHILD CALLED "IT" by Dave Pelzer: The author is the child called "It."  This is a heart-wrenching tale of a boy who was singled out by his sick mother for horrendous abuse that nearly killed him.  His was one of the most shocking cases of child abuse in California history, but the real story is how he survived, and how he fights for children today.

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